


wherever you are is the place i belong

by sapphicplatypus



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, alex finally gets her head out of her ass and tries to get maggie back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-08 05:26:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19864234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicplatypus/pseuds/sapphicplatypus
Summary: She had made a mistake. A colossal mistake, and now she didn’t know if it was too late to fix it.But she had to try.





	wherever you are is the place i belong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smolsawyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolsawyer/gifts).



> For my secret summer crush, Abbie! I hope you enjoy it!

Alex’s hand trembled as she pressed the call button for the elevator. She couldn’t believe she was about to do this. 

As soon as the doors opened, she took a deep breath and stepped inside, letting out a shaky exhale as she watched the doors slide shut. 

She was alone, the sound of her own harsh breaths mingling with the creaking of metal as she was carried up to the fifth floor. Somehow, the ride up felt far too long and far too short at the same time. 

When she reached her destination, part of her wanted to reach out and press the button that would take her right back down, so she could walk out the front door and pretend like she was never there. But she pushed past her fear and stepped over the threshold.

The telltale ding of the elevator rang in her ears as she made her way down the quiet hallway to apartment 503. 

Maggie’s apartment.

It had been easy enough to find out Maggie’s new address using DEO resources. Alex had been tempted to look her up countless times in the past few months, but she had refrained—until now.

After months of trying to convince herself that breaking things off with Maggie had been the right decision, that she would eventually be able to get over her and move on, Alex finally broke. Those months without Maggie were the most miserable of Alex’s entire life, and she eventually had to admit that she had been lying to herself. 

She had made a mistake. A colossal mistake, and now she didn’t know if it was too late to fix it.

But she had to try.

She stood outside Maggie’s door, her heart thumping rapidly in her chest, wringing her clammy hands together as she worked up the courage to knock. She knew that after she did this, after she laid all her feelings out in the open, there was no going back. 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if this was how Maggie felt as she waited outside Alex’s apartment with pizza and beer on that night that now seemed so long ago. The night that changed her life. She knew that tonight would be life-changing in its own right, and she could only hope that it would be a change for the better.

Summoning all the courage she could muster, Alex raised a fist to the solid wood of the door and knocked against it. 

She heard shuffling inside the apartment. Footsteps approaching the door. A pause. Silence. 

And then, slowly, the turning of the lock. The rustling of the door handle.

This was it.

The door swung open.

“Maggie, I—” 

Alex’s voice caught in her throat as her eyes swept over the woman in front of her. Maggie looked as beautiful as ever, dark hair spilling over her shoulders in waves, deep brown eyes every bit as gorgeous as Alex remembered—but Alex’s eyes were drawn down to the faded orange t-shirt that hung loosely around Maggie’s small frame. She felt her heart swell as recognition washed over her.

“You...you’re wearing my t-shirt,” was all she could manage, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Maggie blinked up at her, clearly in shock at the sight of Alex at her door. “I...yeah,” she said, confusion seeping into her voice. She glanced down at her shirt. “Is that okay?”

Alex drew in a sharp breath as a rush of memories surged up. That first night they spent together, falling asleep tangled up in Alex’s sheets. Snuggling into the warmth of Maggie’s body as the first rays of sunlight crept into her apartment. The pure, unbridled joy she felt that morning as she leaned over the kitchen island to kiss her.  _ It’s called being happy, get used to it Danvers. _

She felt tears welling in her eyes as she took a step closer, bringing a gentle hand up to Maggie’s face. Maggie’s gaze fluttered up to meet her own. “That’s amazing,” Alex whispered, absently stroking her thumb along Maggie’s cheek.

Alex could feel the warmth blossoming under her fingertips as a blush spread across Maggie’s face. Maggie’s chin tilted upwards just slightly, her movements slow and languid, her eyes heavy-lidded and glassy, almost as though she were in a trance.

Caught up in her emotions, Alex leaned down to meet her. She had never been more certain about anything in her life: this,  _ Maggie _ , was what she wanted. Maggie was all she needed, and she wanted nothing more in this moment than to show her. But before their lips could finally meet, Alex felt the heavy weight of a hand on her shoulder, pushing her away.

“Alex,” came Maggie’s voice, hoarse with unspoken emotion. “Alex, wait.”

Alex immediately took a step back, dropping her hands to her sides. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...” She trailed off. The sight of Maggie wearing her t-shirt had brought back so many memories, and a foolish sense of hope had bubbled up in her chest at the knowledge that Maggie had kept it all this time. But in reality, Maggie wearing the shirt likely didn’t mean anything at all. Alex had let her emotions get the best of her and acted on impulse, probably ruining all hope of a second chance with Maggie before it could even start.

The corners of Maggie’s lips twitched upward in a sad smile as she regarded Alex with tired eyes. “I just...I don’t understand. Why are you here?” 

Alex could see the way Maggie’s features hardened, as the walls she had unwittingly let down—caught off guard as she was by Alex’s unexpected appearance—came crashing back into place. 

“If this is just because you’re feeling lonely, or, or something happened and you’re looking for comfort, I…” Maggie sighed. “I can’t do this, Danvers.” Her voice sounded so defeated, and Alex’s heart ached at the sound of it.

“No, Maggie, that’s not—”

Maggie’s eyes snapped up to meet her own and Alex’s breath hitched.

“That’s not why I’m here. I came here because…” She took a deep breath, her next words rushing out on an exhale. “I came here to tell you I’m sorry.” 

Maggie’s arms were curled around her own torso, her fingers clutching at the orange fabric of her t-shirt. She looked so fragile, like the arms crossed tightly over her ribcage were all that was holding her together. Alex knew that it was all her fault, that she was the one who broke her. She only hoped it wasn’t too late to put the pieces back together.

“I’m so sorry. For everything. I know that I hurt you, and it wasn’t fair, and you didn’t deserve any of it. I would give  _ anything _ to go back and undo it all. I...I made a mistake. Letting you go, it was a mistake. Probably the worst one I’ve ever made, and I’ve made a lot of them,” she added with an awkward chuckle. 

Maggie didn’t crack a smile. 

Alex cleared her throat, growing serious again. “And now I just...I miss you.”

It was both terrifying and exhilarating to finally say these things out loud, and the words just kept tumbling out. 

“I  _ miss _ you,” Alex said again, her eyes wide and pleading. “I miss you every day. I thought that I would be able to move on, but I just...I can’t. It’s not possible.” She huffed out a breath, rolling her eyes at herself. “I was so  _ stupid _ to think I could ever get over you. I was so stupid to ever let you go to begin with. Maggie, I…”

She sucked in a shaky breath, her eyes searching Maggie’s. “I still love you,” she confessed, relief and fear flooding through her simultaneously as she finally released the words she had been holding inside for months. “I never stopped loving you, and I don’t think I ever will.” Alex was crying now, and she hastily wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. “And I know...I know this is a lot, and I understand if you…” She squeezed her eyes shut at the thought, more tears slipping out unbidden. “I understand if you don’t want this. Me. But I just...I just had to tell you,” she finished quietly, preparing herself for the long, humiliating walk back down the hallway.

After what felt like the longest silence of Alex’s life, Maggie finally spoke, her eyes guarded but glistening with tears of her own. “What changed?”

Alex couldn’t help the tiny spark of hope that flickered inside her chest at Maggie’s response. She was clearly still cautious, but she hadn’t pushed Alex away or told her to leave. She wanted to hear her out, to listen to what she had to say.

“Trying to live my life without you, it just feels wrong. It feels empty. And I realized...I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it.”

Maggie laughed wetly as a tear slipped down her cheek. “Low blow, Danvers,” she teased weakly.

Alex shook her head. “I’m serious, Maggie. You’re it for me. And I’m sorry that it took being apart from you for me to realize it.”

Maggie regarded her silently for a long moment before a shadow passed over her face. “What about kids?”

Alex dropped her eyes to the floor. “I’ve thought about it a lot,” she began, her voice quiet. “And I think I’ve always wanted kids because I’ve been told my whole life that that’s what I was supposed to want.” She looked back up, locking eyes with Maggie. “But I realized, when I picture my future, a family...it’s always with you. I don’t want any of it if it’s not with you. I want  _ you _ , Maggie. Just you. You’re all I need.”

Maggie let out a shuddering sigh. One hand came up to rub at her chin as she looked down at her own socked feet. She was quiet for a long moment.

“I miss you too, you know.”

Alex blinked. “You do?” she asked, her heart beating a little faster in her chest.

“Of course I do, Danvers. Look at me, I’m wearing your clothes.” Maggie’s words were teasing, but her voice was soft.

Alex let out a breathless laugh before biting down on her lower lip, suddenly shy. “And...do you still…” She trailed off, too nervous to finish the question that had been on her mind for months:  _ do you still love me? _

Maggie looked at her tearfully, one side of her mouth quirking upward in a sad smile. “Forever,” she whispered.

Alex forgot how to breathe for a moment, that one word rendering her completely speechless. She was sure that she looked like a complete idiot, standing there with wide eyes and parted lips, barely able to form thoughts, much less sentences.

“Maggie…” 

It was all she could say. She still couldn’t quite believe what she had heard. All this time, she had been desperately trying to stifle her own foolish optimism, to not cling to her last shred of hope that Maggie might want her back. But hearing that Maggie still loved her rekindled those dying embers of hope into a roaring flame inside her. Alex smiled widely, unable to contain it.

But her smile dimmed as soon as her eyes met Maggie’s. Maggie’s expression was somber, and Alex felt her nerves creeping back up, that fire in her chest dwindling. Maybe she had gotten ahead of herself. Just because Maggie still loved her didn’t mean she still  _ wanted _ her. Maybe it was just too much, too painful for Maggie to put herself through it all again.

“Listen, Alex,” Maggie began. She hesitated, taking in a slow breath. “I’m not sure if this is a good idea.” Another pause. Alex’s throat felt tight. “But if...if we’re going to do this, we have to do it right. We can’t just jump right back in and pick up where we left off. We have to start over, from the beginning. Take it one step at a time.”

Alex was speechless for a moment as her brain struggled to catch up.

“So...does that mean you want to try?” She was almost too afraid to ask.

Maggie still looked uncertain. She chewed on her lower lip before answering, her voice quiet. “Yes.” She sighed. “It’s probably against my better judgement, honestly, but I...yes. I want to. I...I'm willing to try.” 

It wasn’t exactly the answer Alex was hoping for, but the fact that Maggie still wanted her and was willing to give her another chance was enough to set her heart racing.

“But we have to take this slow, Alex,” Maggie continued, her voice serious. “You have no idea how much I wish I could just fall back into your arms and have everything go back to normal, but I can’t. And it won’t. For this to work, it’s going to take work. From both of us.” 

Alex nodded, her eyes wide and earnest. “I promise, Maggie, we’ll take this as slow as you want. I want you to be comfortable, and I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. I know it’s going to take time, but I’m willing to wait for as long as you need. I’ll be patient.”

Maggie cracked a lopsided smile, a lone dimple making an appearance. “Alex Danvers? Patient?”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. It’s worth it, for you.”

Maggie’s eyes sparkled as she gazed up at her, and in that moment Alex knew for certain that she would do anything to get her back in her life.

“So, um...pool? Tomorrow night?” Alex asked nervously.

Maggie met her with a knowing look and a tentative smile.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

…

Slowly, gradually, nights spent playing pool after arriving at the bar in separate vehicles turn into nights spent curled up together in front of Alex’s fireplace. Stilted conversations turn into deep discussions where they delve even more deeply into their emotions than they had the first time around. Uncertain greetings turn into sweeping kisses and wandering hands. Eventually, the discomfort and awkwardness melt away, and they become comfortable with each other again. It feels familiar, but at the same time entirely new.

Over the next two years, Alex and Maggie rebuild their relationship upon a sturdy foundation of communication and honesty. They learn to be vulnerable with one another again, and eventually, to trust one another again.

What had begun as a lifetime of firsts transforms into a lifetime of seconds—their second first date, their second first kiss, their second first time.

One autumn day, Alex decides to add another second to their list. She takes Maggie to the airport, to the exact spot where they first met, and gets down on one knee right there on the tarmac.

Maggie says yes without hesitation.


End file.
